Condom Game

click here to PLAY

oh guys, kelangang magpractice para sa kinabukasan ng bayan! LOL

- innocent perv, o dela ho

Joke Time: Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

Contributed by: PurpleRose (Dr. DominatRhix)

**********

The FINALISTS :

Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Philippines
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Japan

The question: How would you describe a male organ in your country?

**********

Snack Time: Beer Match – Buffalo Wings

Homestyle Buffalo Wild Wings

Buffalo Wings are expensive especially when ordered in a fine dining resto or even from a fast food chain. Now here’s how you can make some at home. This is best to enjoy with beer in hand and share it with your LXP buddies or a special someone while watching some movie on DVD.

You’ll be needing:

Either:-A deep frying machine.
-A large stock pot with a thermometer that reads 250+ F. (Candy thermometer preferred.)

And:
-2 sets of tongs.

I will explain the 2 tongs part in a moment, first, the recipes based from this website:

Preparing the wings:

- 20 chicken wing pieces per sauce.
(Remember to thaw them. They don’t need to be room temperature, but remember to maintain the consistancy in accordance to the food safety when it comes to defrosting and uncooked meats.)

- 6 to 12 cups vegetable shortening (6-12 may sound like a lot, but it is not needed if you are short on shortening or if you are patient. I will explain how we did it with 3 cups.)

- 1/4 cup to 1/3 cup choice of sauce (recipes follow)

- Celery sticks (for serving) (We did not have any, but it’s good for presentation. Bonus: Add carrots and a cooling sauce such as ranch, blue cheese, etc.)

1) Heat shortening in your fryer to 350 degrees F.
(Or if you’re using a stock pot, heat it SLOWLY, it melts fast and will start to boil quickly, you do not want to fight with a shortening burn on your pot. No higher than a low heat.)

2) Drop wings into shortening and fry for 10 to 12 minutes, or until wings are turning light brown. Remove wings to a rack or paper towels to drain for 1 minute.

(Here is where we alter and I explain how we did it with 3 cups shortening. When the temperature was right, we added all 10 chicken pieces to the fryer and set a timer for 5 minutes. Increase the heat to high as the temperature of the shortening will drop dramatically and fast. When it went off, turn the wings with a clean pair of tongs or the tongs you used to drop them into the frying pot. Set the timer again for 5 minutes. When that second timer goes off, check the meatiest wing you have to see if it’s cooked through. If not, give it another turn and cook for the remaining 2 minutes. The chicken will still be a nice golden brown. Don’t let it get darker than that.When they are done and you’re satisfied with the color and inside, use a clean pair [remember, the other set] of tongs to take to the drying rack. I’m not sure how well paper towels will work, I think it would make more of a mess than reasonable. Invest in a cheap cookie rack. We got ours at the local store for cheap.)

3) Put wings into plastic container with a lid. Add 1/4 cup to 1/3 cup of your own sauce of to container, put lid on and give a good shake. (Since our inital trial was using 1/2 the recipe, we used the entire contents of the sauce. For a true BWW taste, 1/3 cup should be the minimum. I’ve never been to BWW and not have a pile of napkins that was higher than the serving dish could hold.)

4) Pour wings onto plate and add celery on the side. (coupled with the bonuses, if you’re including it.)

Serves 2 to 4 as an appetizer

The SAUCES:

SPICY GARLIC WING SAUCE:
1 cup Frank’s cayenne pepper
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon granulated sugar
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons water
2 teaspoons cornstarch

MEDIUM WING SAUCE:
1 cup Frank’s cayenne pepper sauce
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/8 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons water
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Steps for preparing the sauce:

1) Combine all ingredients except egg yolk, water, and cornstarch for sauce of your choice in a small saucepan.
2) Heat sauce over medium heat until boiling, then reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
3) Remove pan from heat and allow it to cool, uncovered, for 10 minutes.
4) While sauce cools, vigorously whisk egg yolk with 2 teaspoons water in a medium bowl for about 2 minutes or color is pale yellow. Whisk in cornstarch until dissolved.
5) Drizzle sauce mixture into egg yolk mixture in a steady stream while rapidly whisking. This will create a thick, creamy emulsion that will prevent oil from separating.
6) Cover sauce and chill until needed. (since we made 1/2 of one type and 1/2 of the other, we made the egg ‘wash’ entirely and ‘best guessed’ where the 1/2 way point to pour into each. We did a fine job, I think.)

source: http://gourmeted.com/2007/12/12/homestyle-buffalo-wild-wings/#more-5

Cuffing Up A Year

@kikomonsterx

Spice up your life! (1st Anniversary Special)

Contributed by: PurpleRose (Dr. DominatRhix)

“Bed” weather…Yes, we are having a stormy weather today as we have reached our first year here in LXPress, which also means that it is the first year anniversary of The LXP (League of Extraordinary Perverts)! To those of you who have no idea of what and who we are…bahala kayo sa mga buhay nyo! LOL

Kidding aside, we’re just a bunch of people (people?! more like immortals!) who happen to have this extraordinary telepathic way of thinking green (nope, not that environmental kind of green, well…we can be “environmentalists”, too!)…and yes, we are mutants! We have evolved and now we are greater than ever! Walang aangal kung gusto nyo pang mabuhay! *evil laugh*

And so to commemorate this special event in our “perverted” lives, I have searched for something that will spice things up a bit, just like when you have your first year anniversary with your partner… *wink*

Here is a compilation of….

Drink Up: Cheers!!!!

Contributed by: Twisted Sunshine (the Head Blowing Chef)

The Official Newsletter of LXPress: www.lxpress.wordpress.com has turned 1. In light of this event, I’d like to offer a toast for the bloggers who contributed in Lxpress, for the readers who never get tired of visiting the site, for our inspiration and most of all for wordpress.com for without them, this blog would never be possible. More blog entries in the future and more readers too! CHEERS!!!!! Let’s all drink to that! (recipe follows)

The BIG Event: The Japanese Penis Festival

By dru, for dru (I’m cute that way)

What better way to celebrate the first anniversary of our wonderfully informative blog than by looking at humanity’s reverence for the phallus. Hold on to those champagne bottles, in this blog more things shoot up than the usual bubbly.

I know, the first time I saw it even I had a hard time keeping my jaw from dropping. Well it’s true! At least the blogs I visited said it was. They got pictures to prove it! Thanks to yamasa.org for giving some insights into this kinky yet bizarre err… spectacle.

Hounen Matsuri, Tagata Jinja View video of Tagata Jinja

The most famous mikoshi (portable shrine) in Japan Click to enlarge

Tagata Jinja is a Shinto shrine in Komaki just north of Nagoya, and as such is just one of many that can be found throughout Japan. It symbolizes the strong spatial and temporal linkage of the people to the community of Komaki, which until comparatively recently was a farming area. The Hounen festival at Tagata shrine is one of the most famous (or infamous?) festivals in Japan. Amongst foreigners visiting Aichi Prefecture it is frequently referred to as the “penis shrine”, or “Japanese penis festival”, primarily due to the ancient Hounen Matsuri (a festival celebrating fertility and renewal), which is held here every March 15th.

Every year on March 15 a huge two and a half meter wooden phallus is carried the short distance between two shrines attracting visitors from all over Japan and international media attention. The festival is fun with a lot of sake drinking, however the background of the festival is rather more serious. A shrine is a place of worship. It houses divine spirits and preserves the memory and practice of many aspects of Japanese culture. This file is intended to introduce some of the history, mythology, rituals, and customs of Tagata Jinja.

Coded Honeymoon

contributed by o.dela.ho / source: forwarded email

Once upon a time in China , there lived a happy couple, Mr. &  Mrs.Chan with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Emmy & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.

Years passed, and it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable ‘leng chais’ (handsome guys).  They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As ‘concerned’ parents, Mr.& Mrs. Chan were curious about their daughters’ first-night experience.

So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Chan told them, ‘Your father & I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied.  Write a letter to us, but so as not to raise your husbands’ curiosity.. you all must use a code to describe your experiences…

So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. Mr. & Mrs. Chan got the first letter. It was from Elaine.

They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement.  ‘Ah! Here it is!!!!’ exclaimed Mr. Chan. The motto for Standard Chartered was….

'BIG, STRONG, FRIENDLY.'

Mr. & Mrs. Chan were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Emmy.  The content was simple.

‘NESCAFE’. So again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. ‘Ah! here it is…

'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP.

Mr. and Mrs.Chan jumped with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. 2 months passed. There  was still no letter from Ella. The Chans became worried.

Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Chan managed to figure it out. The code was ‘PHILIPPINE AIRLINES‘.

Mr.Chan, confused on why she chose Philippine Airlines, rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper..  He flipped the   pages frantically. ……. ‘Ah! Here it is!!!’

Mrs.Chan grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ….THUMP!!! …. she fell off her chair…

The Airline’s motto was…

'7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP....!!!

- THE END -

straight from the vice (8) – the one year hump

in the morning rush forum (www.rxmorningrush.com), there’s a topic inside random thoughts called “first thought” that asks us to write what comes to mind first when you see a certain word. it’s simple actually.

someone called astroboy posted the word RADIO and the next one named sasha purse posted CHICO AND DELAMAR…then sasha purse posts GREEN and the next one answered , LXP!

yes, LXP is about our own little perverted selves. we all have green minds, just in different levels. just like guys whose testosterone levels vary from person to person, age to age, and experience to experience.

believe it or not, some people behind this site may have slowed down coz of different situations or issues. our hits may have slowed down in the process…but one thing’s for sure, a year after, no matter where we are, we still share the same frame of mind when it comes to enjoying the tingling perversions of life without being blatantly rubbish. AND, we will endlessly share our fondness for the green-minded icons of morning radio: the ultimate pervert Chico Garcia and the reluctant pervert Delamar Arias.

so as we subtly celebrate our first year, there seems to be a hump that we should get over with. whether we reach the second year as active as can be, i will always be proud that this idea by some rushers in YM conferences was reared, cracked, and hatched!

well, when you see the word HUMP, what was your first thought?

A. slow down

B. camel

C. hunchback

D. sex

E. boobs

F.  none of the above

no comment, haha!

oh well, cheers to the first anniversary of our own little blogsite. for those non-LXP and non-rushers visiting LXPress, in behalf of the League of Xtraordinary Perverts…thank you!